The Hazards of Being Male: Surviving the Myth of Masculine Privilege

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A must read for men and women

amazing

He told us so.

This book knocked me right over!

Guilt is Not Power!

The Hazards of Being Male: Surviving the Myth of Masculine Privilege
Herb Goldberg
Manufacturer: Wellness Institute
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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What Men Still Don't Know About Women, Relationships, and Love

ASIN: 1587410133

Customer Reviews:

A must read for men and women.......2006-04-27

I am a woman who found this book while searching for anything to explain why so many men come across as being more than a little screwed up psychologically (and I'm saying this with compassion, not derision).

This book will not give you all the answers (like, for example, the impact of various personality disorders on people's actions, both men and women; for that, there are other books) -- but it does a superb job explaing how the upbringing of boys, peer pressure, societal expectations, materialistic pursuits, and the burdens of traditional marriage, kill men's happiness, potency and physical health.

Men are often victims of their own competitive tendency or unconscious desire to conform -- and Herb Goldberg makes it clear that it's time for men to get emancipated from those self-imposed shackles. I agree. You can't be a happy, fulfilled, healthy, caring, and joy-radiating human being if you live to uphold a fake image, or to satisfy others -- while in the process hurting and denying yourself.

I especially admire Goldberg's brave admission that when passion in an old marriage is gone, men (and I hope he means women too) have a right to seek sexual fulfillment with somebebosy else -- without guilt.

I plan to give this book to a male friend who desperately needs to understand how his quest for success at any cost is killing his ability to relate to people, and to be himself, with some very sad consequences. It'll be interesting to see if it opens his eyes.

Ultimately, no book can change anyone unless they have personal courage to change -- to draw a line against that which limits and opresses them. This book is invaluable because it makes the need for this necessary change crystal clear.

amazing.......2006-04-12

I can only agree with the other reviewers. I don't know how much more I can add except to say that this book profoundly changed the way I view myself and the other men in my life. Reading this book helped me to understand my father in a way I never did before and resolved a great deal of the tension between us. I cannot praise this book highly enough. There are a few places in the book where it is clear that it was written 30 years ago but they are few and far between. It is highly relevant to males AND females who are trying to understand them.

He told us so. .......2006-01-14

This book was a total surprise for me. I never heard of it before seeing it advertised along the sidebar of angryharry. I figured that it would be a political discussion of what transpired to the relations between men and women in the sixties. Instead, it is a fairly amazing psychological interpretation of the role males have in our society. The Hazards... was re-released in 2000 but was originally penned in 1976. There are two things amazing about the date of its initial release:

1. What Goldberg argued so long ago remains applicable today (aside from his slightly non-topical observation that autism is a form of schizophrenia).
2. The guts that it took for this guy to say the things he did back in those "everything men do is oppressive" days. I really am astonished that an academic took such a stance and wish there were more Herb Goldbergs in our universities today.

The idea that man searches for a special, unique Earth Mother is nothing short of brilliant. I marked that chapter up thoroughly with red ink. Also, the way he dissects modern marriage and divorce, specifically in light of male reactions to the crises, is highly astute. Unlike many authors, Goldberg actually has the foresight to provide recommendations alongside his analysis. He refers to these as "Guidelines." I think that you'll probably agree with me that The Hazards... has a revolutionary feel to it which has not been greatly diminished by the passage of time. It is up to all of us to live up to his scholarly, courageous example in the present day.

This book knocked me right over!.......2002-12-14

First of all, I must say that the copy of this book that I have is the original 1976 edition, and there may have been significant changes in later editions.

This book was originally written in 1976, and is considered one of the classics of the men's rights movement. In it, psychologist Dr. Herb Goldberg takes years of clinical experience, and concludes that men, far from being the privileged sex, are actually out of touch with their bodies and emotions, and unhealthily dependent on women. Further, too many men are on a destructive course that leads to mental illness, alcoholism and death. Each chapter in this fascinating book ends with a list of guidelines that the man should study to examine himself.

Overall, this book knocked me right over. As the author explains his views on men, their thoughts and their situation, I found myself shocked at his ability to see through to the heart of matter. So much of what the author says is true to this very day, more than a quarter of a century later!

My only complaint against this book is that the author attributes so much of men's attributes to social conditioning, whereas more recent studies have shown that many male-female differences are actually biological (see The War Against Boys by Christina Hoff Sommers). But, that said, this is a fascinating book with penetrating insight into the lives of modern men. I highly recommend this book to all men.

Guilt is Not Power!.......2002-11-30

This is a wonderful book for both men and women to read, to get more out of our lives. And read it more than once, because by the time you finish you will want to step back into the world of the scenarios described in this book, to travel further along your ability to appreciate humanity.

When we keep in mind the message from William James, "Sow a thought; reap an action. Sow an action; reap a habit. Sow a set of habits; reap a character. Sow a character; reap your destiny," as we read a book like "The Hazards of Being Male," we will have many "Oh yeah's. That explains it."

This book also helps men to be men, while they face their authentic selves.

Without the right to feel; have a male friend; share financial responsibility with women; participate as involved, playful fathers; no longer be self-destructive; and no longer harbor extreme guilt, traditionally thinking men, that is most men, are not living the life that they deserve to live.

"The male has paid a heavy price for his masculine, 'privilege' and power. He is out of touch with his emotions and his body." - Herb Goldberg, Ph.D.

Their reality is always approached through veils of gender expectations.

Men's problems are not changed by legislation, because they have no clearly defined targets against which they can vent their rage. Men will not strongly improve their lives until they experience their underlying rage toward the endless, impossible binds under which they live, which is defined by their role to be all things to all people. This includes guilt and self-denial.

So many men are tired, and are forever close to just throwing in the towel, but they haven't thrown in the towel, because they simultaneously harbor guilt, love, and fear of being lonely.

Traditionally, men maintain a self-protective stance, to protect themselves from being vulnerable. And despite the appearance of not allowing a woman to control them, men unconsciously see the female in his life as his lifeline.

Whether it is amongst friends, their spouse or at the office, men express their trouble to freely express themselves by statements such as "I think I'm entitled to get angry," followed by an apology. They don't know how to simply say, "When someone does ... I feel angry, because I need ... So, would you mind (action)?" But they can be taught this, when women expect this from them.

Another male attitude is, "God helps those who help themselves." This is to cover up the chance of appearing to be uncomfortable, anxious, or vulnerable.

The highest compliment is to call him "fearless." Of course this has held men back from processing their emotions, and taking the stance to live their lives according to what their higher power sent them here to do.

When asked why they married and remained married, many say, "she has a good effect on me. She stabilizes me." Which means that he counts upon women to regulate his life.

The male in our culture finds himself in countless, "damned if you do, and damned if you don't no-win binds. He is psychologically fragmented by many contradictory demands. And for his sake of survival he strives to maintain a cool, detached, controlled, guarded and disengaged demeanor.

Book Description

Until Masculine Interests not much had been written about men "as men" in the cinema. Now Robert Lang considers how Hollywood articulates the eroticism that is intrinsic to identification between men. He considers masculinity in social and psychoanalytic terms, maintaining that a major function of the movies is to define different types of masculinity, and to either valorize or criticize these forms. Focusing on several films -- primarily The Lion King, The Most Dangerous Game, The Outlaw, Kiss Me Deadly, Midnight Cowboy, Innerspace, My Own Private Idaho, the Batman series, and Jerry Maguire -- Lang questions the way in which American culture distinguishes between homosexual and nonhomosexual forms of male bonding. In arguing for a much more complex recognition of the homosocial continuum, he contends that queer sexuality is far more present in American cinema than is usually acknowledged.

Men at Work: An Action Guide to Masculine Healing

Average customer rating:

BAD THERAPY /w HOMOPHOBIA
Helpful for women too
Waste of money....
Simply the best guide to men's heart-work available anywhere

Men at Work: An Action Guide to Masculine Healing
Chris L. Frey
Manufacturer: Islewest Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
ASIN: 1888461039

Book Description

Helps readers free themselves from worn-out notions of what it means to be a man. Men at Work offers tools that identify issues, uncover feelings, and heal pain. It is a process for men to move beyond silence, beyond intellect, and beyond catharsis into the resolution of trauma. It provides an action-oriented approach to healing work, within the combined context of mind, body, and spirit. Practical, down-to-earth, and broadly based, it is written for men who want to heal their lives, men and women who want to better understand a loved one, and for therapists who are working with men. May be utilized by the reader on his or her own, in therapy groups, and in self-help support groups.

Customer Reviews:

BAD THERAPY /w HOMOPHOBIA.......2005-08-22

Like the other reviewer, I would give it a zero or negative one. I personally have had the experience of spending a great deal of time with Mr. Frey while he discussed his views on men and women. I feel he has many mental health issues of his own to work out before he can safely advise other men.

In his practice, he has promoted negative stereotypes about gay men. He believes that all gay men are merely confused about their gender. He stated, "All gay men want to be women and all lesbians think they are men!" As for those with actual gender issues, he refers to them as gay men and lesbians rather than transgender. He gave the impression he has a low opinion of women and a grandiose image of men based on his book as well. Therefore, I feel that following the guidelines set forth in his publications my lead to a degeneration of ones emotional well being rather heal. If your homophobic and fearful of strong women. Then you will love it. Otherwise...think!

Helpful for women too.......1999-11-28

I am a psychologist and work at a college counseling center. As a female counselor working with men, it is essential for me to be aware of the available literature that fosters men's personal growth. This practical and useful book has been very helpful for me to use with clients. In addition, the book has been helpful for me as a feminist and a woman. I am pleased to see the courageous work that men such as Chris Frey are doing.

Waste of money...........1999-09-11

This was a horrible book. A more accurate title for this book would be "Insecure Male's Guide on How to Become a Woman". Frey's thoughts are flaky and disturbing. If ZERO stars were an option, I would have chosen ZERO stars.

Simply the best guide to men's heart-work available anywhere.......1998-12-01

I have spent years working with men in groups such as Frey describes. Throughout all of the groups, I have seen his ideas born out in real results. Men at Work has also given me a clear way to explain what I do to people who are simply curious or who want to take this work into their own groups. The exercises are as valuable for women as for men. I cannot recommend this book highly enough to anyone interested in finding their feelings or increasing the level of integrity in their lives.

A guy thing: a unique wedding shower focuses on the groom with masculine touches and gifts geared toward tooling around.: An article from: Mississippi Magazine

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A guy thing: a unique wedding shower focuses on the groom with masculine touches and gifts geared toward tooling around.: An article from: Mississippi Magazine
Eileen Bailey
Manufacturer: Thomson Gale
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Digital

Showers | Weddings | Home & Garden | Subjects | Books
ASIN: B000N0X6YE
Release Date: 2007-01-30

Book Description

This digital document is an article from Mississippi Magazine, published by Thomson Gale on January 1, 2007. The length of the article is 1115 words. The page length shown above is based on a typical 300-word page. The article is delivered in HTML format and is available in your Amazon.com Digital Locker immediately after purchase. You can view it with any web browser.

Citation Details
Title: A guy thing: a unique wedding shower focuses on the groom with masculine touches and gifts geared toward tooling around.
Author: Eileen Bailey
Publication: Mississippi Magazine (Magazine/Journal)
Date: January 1, 2007
Publisher: Thomson Gale
Volume: 25 Issue: 3 Page: 142(5)

Distributed by Thomson Gale

The masculine mystique: a Harvard professor has written a book on manliness. John Wayne isn't impressed.(Manliness)(Book review) : An article from: Washington Monthly

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The masculine mystique: a Harvard professor has written a book on manliness. John Wayne isn't impressed.(Manliness)(Book review) : An article from: Washington Monthly
Phillip Longman
Manufacturer: Thomson Gale
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Digital

General | Politics | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

Book Description

This digital document is an article from Washington Monthly, published by Thomson Gale on May 1, 2006. The length of the article is 1291 words. The page length shown above is based on a typical 300-word page. The article is delivered in HTML format and is available in your Amazon.com Digital Locker immediately after purchase. You can view it with any web browser.

Citation Details
Title: The masculine mystique: a Harvard professor has written a book on manliness. John Wayne isn't impressed.(Manliness)(Book review)
Author: Phillip Longman
Publication: Washington Monthly (Magazine/Journal)
Date: May 1, 2006
Publisher: Thomson Gale
Volume: 38 Issue: 5 Page: 40(2)

Article Type: Book review

Distributed by Thomson Gale

Screened Out: Playing Gay in Hollywood from Edison to Stonewall. (Book Reviews).(Book Review) (book review): An article from: Cineaste

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Screened Out: Playing Gay in Hollywood from Edison to Stonewall. (Book Reviews).(Book Review) (book review): An article from: Cineaste
David Greven
Manufacturer: Cineaste Publishers, Inc.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Digital

General | Performing Arts | Arts & Photography | Subjects | Books
ASIN: B0009FZ59W
Release Date: 2005-07-31

Book Description

This digital document is an article from Cineaste, published by Cineaste Publishers, Inc. on March 22, 2003. The length of the article is 2149 words. The page length shown above is based on a typical 300-word page. The article is delivered in HTML format and is available in your Amazon.com Digital Locker immediately after purchase. You can view it with any web browser.

Citation Details
Title: Screened Out: Playing Gay in Hollywood from Edison to Stonewall. (Book Reviews).(Book Review) (book review)
Author: David Greven
Publication: Cineaste (Magazine/Journal)
Date: March 22, 2003
Publisher: Cineaste Publishers, Inc.
Volume: 28 Issue: 2 Page: 58(3)

Article Type: Book Review

Distributed by Thomson Gale

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Masculine Interests
Robert Lang
Manufacturer: Columbia University Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
ASIN: B000OPZVOQ

The measurement of masculine and feminine attitudes by use of the interest inventory

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The measurement of masculine and feminine attitudes by use of the interest inventory
Harold Dean Carter
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Unknown Binding

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Book Description

Raymond Williams ' Keywords: A Vocabulary of Culture and Society is justly renowned for its role in providing a whole generation of students and intellectuals with trusty and cogent distillations of the language of cultural studies. First published in 1976, the text played a pivotal role in both academic and public understandings of culture and society and the relations between them. New Keywords: A Revised Vocabulary of Culture and Society updates Williams 's classic text by reflecting the transformation in culture and society over the last quarter century.New Keywords includes many of Williams 's original entries, but with new discussions of their history and use over the last 25 years. Several other entries encapsulate the practices, institutions, and debates of contemporary society. The editors have assembled an international team of scholars to write from a variety of disciplines and interdisciplinary fields - cultural and media studies, feminism, post-colonial and subaltern studies, the history of science, sociology, gay and lesbian studies. The result is a state-of-the art reference for students, teachers and public intellectuals everywhere.

Customer Reviews:

Excellents Resource for Students of Cultural and Media Studies.......2005-09-14

The editors, Tony Bennett, Lawrence Grossberg and Meaghan Morris are well known academics and scholars in cultural studies. The New Keywords is a comprehensive resource for everyone furthering their studies in cultural and literary theory. In addition, students involved in anthropology, sociology and philosophy may find it very useful.

Another model for Taxonomy and Classification of Information.......2005-05-18

View the Contents of this book to see how it fits as a re-newed model:
Acknowledgements Abbreviations
Introduction

Aesthetics, Alternative, Art, Audience
Behaviour, Biology, Body, Bureaucracy,
Canon, Capitalism, Celebrity, Citizenship, City, Civilization, Class, Colonialism, Commodity, Communication, Community, Conservatism, Consumption, Copy, Country, Culture
Deconstruction, Democracy, Desire, Development, Diaspora, Difference, Disability, Discipline, Discourse,
Economy, Education, Elite, Emotion, Empirical, Environment / ecology, Equality, Ethnicity, Everyday, Evolution, Experience
Family, Fashion, Feminism, Fetish, Freedom, Fundamentalism,
Gay and Lesbian, Gender, Generation, Gene/genetic, Globalization, Government
Heritage, History, Holocaust, Home, Human, Human Rights
Ideology, Identity, Image, Indigenous, Individual, Industry, Information, Intellectual
Justice, Knowledge, Liberalism
Management, Marginal, Market, Mass, Materialism, Media, Memory
Mobility, Modern, Movements, Multiculturalism
Narrative, Nation, Nature, Network, Normal
Objectivity, Orientalism, Other
Participation, Person, Place, Policy, Political correctness Popular, Pornography, Postcolonialism, Postmodernism, Poverty
Power, Pragmatism, Private, Public, Queer,
Race, Radical, Reason, Reform/revolution, Relativism Representation, Resistance, Risk,
Science, Self, Sexuality, Sign, Socialism, Society, Sovereignty,
Space, Spectacle, State,
Taste, Technology, Text, Theory, Therapy, Time, Tolerance, Tourism, Unconscious, Utopia, Value, Virtual, Welfare, West, the
Work, Writing, Youth,

About the Book:
Over 25 years ago, Raymond Williams' Keywords: A Vocabulary of Culture and Society set the standard for how we understand and use the language of culture and society. Now, three luminaries in the field of cultural studies have assembled a volume that builds on and updates Williams' classic, reflecting the transformation in culture and society since its publication. New Keywords: A Revised Vocabulary of Culture and Society is a state-of-the-art reference for students, teachers and culture vultures everywhere.

A Concise Glossary of Cultural Theory (Student Reference)

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A Concise Glossary of Cultural Theory (Student Reference)
Peter Brooker
Manufacturer: A Hodder Arnold Publication
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Philosophy | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

General | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

Reference | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

Look Inside Reference Books | Trip | Specialty Stores | Books
ASIN: 0340691476

Book Description

This glossary of key terms is an indispensable guide to the changing meanings and issues in cultural studies and the broader study of culture. Written with the student and general reader in mind, the entries present cultural theory as an active and continuing set of debates that challenge received attitudes and redefine current thinking.

Average customer rating:

A Glossary of Cultural Theory
Peter Brooker
Manufacturer: A Hodder Arnold Publication
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

Reference | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

ASIN: 0340807008

Book Description

A Glossary of Cultural Theory provides the reader with lucid and up-to-date guidance through the vibrant and changing debates in cultural studies and related disciplines. This new edition has been updated throughout and contains entries on important new terms from Convergence and Cosmopolitanism, through Ecology and Everyday Life to Thirdspace and Translation.

Cultural Theory: A Glossary (Student Reference)

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Cultural Theory: A Glossary (Student Reference)
Peter Brooker
Manufacturer: A Hodder Arnold Publication
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Popular Culture | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

General | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

Reference | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

Book Description

This is an indispensable guide to the changing meanings and issues in Cultural Studies and, more widely, in the study of culture. It contains over 300 entries on key terms, presenting cultural theory as a continuing set of debates that challenge received attitudes and redefine current issues
in a productive way. Fields covered include feminism, marxism, psychoanalysis, structuralism, poststructuralism, discourse, postmodernism, postcolonialism, literary criticism and aesthetic theory, film, media and popular culture, sociology of culture, and information theory.

A Glossary of Cultural Theory (A Hodder Arnold Publication)

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A Glossary of Cultural Theory (A Hodder Arnold Publication)
Peter Brooker
Manufacturer: A Hodder Arnold Publication
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
ASIN: B000OVECTA

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