Book Description
With motherhood comes one of the toughest decisions of a woman’s life: Stay at home or pursue a career? The dilemma not only divides mothers into hostile, defensive camps but pits individual mothers against themselves. Leslie Morgan Steiner has been there. As an executive at The Washington Post, a writer, and mother of three, she has lived and breathed every side of the “mommy wars.” Rather than just watch the battles rage, Steiner decided to do something about it. She commissioned twenty-six outspoken mothers to write about their lives, their families, and the choices that have worked for them. The result is a frank, surprising, and utterly refreshing look at American motherhood.
Ranging in age from twenty-five to seventy-two and scattered across the country from New Hampshire to California, these mothers reflect the full spectrum of lifestyle choices. Women who have been home with the kids from day one, moms who shuttle from full-time office jobs to part-time at-home work, hard-driving executives who put in seventy-hour-plus weeks: they all get a turn. The one thing these women have in common, aside from having kids, is that they’re all terrific writers.
Pulitzer Prize winner Jane Smiley vividly recounts how her generation stormed the American workplace–only to take refuge at home when the workplace drove them out. Lizzie McGuire creator Terri Minsky describes what it felt like to hear her kids scream “I hope you never come back!” when she flew to L.A. to launch the show that made her career. Susan Cheever, novelist, biographer, and New York Newsday columnist, reports on the furious battles between the stroller pushers and the briefcase bearers on the streets of Manhattan. Lois R. Shea traded the journalistic fast track for a house in the country where she could raise her daughter in peace. Ann Misiaszek Sarnoff, chief operating officer of the Women’s National Basketball Association, argues fiercely that you can combine ambition and motherhood–and have a blast in the process.
Candid, engaging, by turns unflinchingly honest and painfully funny, the essays collected here offer an astonishingly intimate portrait of the state of motherhood today.
Mommy Wars is a book by and for and about the real experts on motherhood and hard work: the women at home, in the office, on the job every day of their lives.
Customer Reviews:
Great concept .......2007-07-16
But it got a bit repetitive after awhile as all of the excerpts were from writers, many who attended ivy league and lived on the east coast. What happened to the single mom from Deluth who had to work her way though business school or the mom of twins from Seattle who gave up her career as an nurse to be at home for her kids? I think the concept for this book is a good one but I think it needed more of a variety of women, both economically, geographically and education wise.
Unfortunate Title Masks a Book that Has So Much Heart.......2007-05-08
Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families is a gut-wrenching collection of 26 essays that go far beyond the usual tirades of working versus stay-at-home moms. The authors in this collection shine a spotlight on the essence of motherhood in chapters that will have you nodding your head, rolling your eyes, even shedding tears.
The writers, including Pulitzer Prize winner Jane Smiley and Lizzie McGuire creator Terri Minksy, run the gamut in their approach to motherhood. One mother wanted to work, but her husband made her feel so guilty that she walked away from a lucrative assignment. Another woman put away her briefcase upon learning her son's diagnosis of autism.
Other women could not imagine not working, including the book's editor, who had an abusive first husband and needed to know she could always provide for herself and her kids.
The stories in this book are fascinating. One black woman, married to a white man, calls herself "bicultural". She writes that historically, black women have worked to augment their husband's salaries. Her black friends never ask her about being a working mother; her white friends constantly discuss it. Another writer says that affluence contributes to the "mommy wars", because the working class, well, work, without so much handwringing.
The essays carry many common themes. Was your own mother happy, or not? Was your childhood happy, or not? Would you want you as your own mother? Are your choices working for you? Because if so, then it doesn't matter if another's choices are different.
This is a book that drives home how hard women are on one another, when they should be compassionate. It also stresses the fleeting years we have with young children, and how we need to be prepared for our lives post-kids.
Iris Krasnow, who is credited for kicking off the stay-at-home trend in 1997, writes about having older kids, kids heading off to college, and how time has mellowed her views.
"Who will I be when they're gone?" she writes. "What am I supposed to do with 126 Beanie Babies, including the Princess Diana bear we paid fifty bucks for and waited in line three hours to buy? My later book...explores the importance of developing ourselves beyond our families. Children do leave. Parents die. Jobs change. We can count only on ourselves."
This is a book all parents, fathers and mothers, should take to heart.
It Could Have Been Called "Editor Wars".......2007-04-14
This book is really pretty good, both informative and entertaining, but I don't think every essay needed to be written by a high profile professional writer or editor, most of whom wrote for The Washington Post or TV shows at some point in her career. That got old. I mean, how many people would rave about a similar book with mommy essays written by a bunch of lawyers, for example? I wish the author had mixed it up some.
Sensationalized title but solid book.......2007-04-03
Let's face it: the title of this book was chosen to exploit the whole media hype surrounding women at odds with each other-- in this case, a stay-at-home mommy vs. working mommy version of "Mean Girls." Open up the book though and you'll find a completely different message. The essays presented here are unflinchingly honest, no holds barred accounts of how stay-at-home moms and working moms really feel about their choices. There is no cat fight to be found here, which is a refreshing relief.
Some of the criticisms of this book have been that all the women are writers. That's not actually entirely true; while most of the women work or have worked in some form of media/publishing/writing, there are still others represented. The problem is that when looking for women to write essays that are going to be well-written, enlightening and enjoyable, it would be hard to randomly assign essays to women in all different fields-- you just wouldn't know what you would get. When you assign an essay to an established writer, you know you have a much better shot at getting something good. That said, I still felt that although the women represented here were largely writers, their feelings on motherhood and working (full-time and part-time) were completely universal. True, most of the moms represented here were also middle to upper middle class and therefore their decisions to work or not were largely internal and matters of self-esteem rather than financial necessity, but their guilt and/or ennui were just as powerful as anyone's. And several of the stay-at-home mothers did report that the decision to stay home did impact their finances negatively (although not direly) and tough financial decisions had to be made.
As for the essays themselves, most of them were excellent, but the themes did tend to get a bit repetitive at times. The book could have easily been 50-100 pages shorter and not suffered at all. There were several "perpective" essays that I imagine the editor included for variety, but which didn't necessaily belong in the group and only served to make the collection feel too long. For instance, there were two essays by women who don't yet have children which the author set up by asserting that though these two don't have children yet, they have a lot to say. The fact of the matter is that anyone who has kids knows that no matter how you thought you'd feel before having kids, it has little or no bearing on how you feel after having them. You just cannot intellectually prepare yourself for motherhood and how you will feel once you're holding that little baby in your arms. There were also a couple of irritating essays, like one by a working mother who feels so not guilty and is so tickled pink by her mothering skills, that it just doesn't feel honest at the end of the day. Not as compared to the other essays by women who bared their hearts and souls. There was also a "feminist viewpoint" essay by a woman who is now a grandmother which really shed no light on anything. But those essays were the clunkers in a series of wonderful, illuminating essays, where every page turn is another "a-ha! I feel exactly the same way!" moment.
This book does an excellent job of presenting both sides of the equation in a way that both sides can understand and empathize with. The stay-at-home moms can discover that the busy, self-important looking working mom is really torn as she drops her kid off at preschool and can't stay to schmooze with the other moms, and the working mom can discover that the smug seeming, "I'm better than you" stay-at-home mom is often bored out of her skull having to spend all day entertaining a toddler. The book is also enhanced tremendously by the editor's two essays which bookend the rest, wherein she admits to her own insecurities about her choices.
The women in this book stand by their choices, but pass no real judgement on others' choices, preferring to turn the light inwards and explore how being a working or stay-at-home mom makes them really feel. Though most are content with their decisions, they have no problem listing the pitfalls along with the highlights of the consequences of their choices. The Mommy Wars are not with each other, as it turns out, but within each of us.
Sobering, Profound and Moving........2007-03-29
It's a decision all mothers face, at least in theory. For many, of course, staying home is not an option. But even when it is, life doesn't become perfect overnight - especially when one is "working from home," the third reality for mothers.
Steiner's title would have us believe we're going to watch an argument. Instead, we're treated to thoughtful, thought-provoking essays by a wide variety of mothers and journalists. Sobering, profound and very moving.
Average customer rating:
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Those Winter Sundays: Female Academics and Their Working-Class Parents
Kathleen A. Welsch
Manufacturer: University Press of America
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 0761829792 |
Book Description
This collection of memoirs examines the relationship between daughters with academic degrees and their working-class parents. Each contributor explores the influence that higher education has had on her relationship with her parent(s), as well as their influence on her academic work.
Customer Reviews:
Excellent.......2007-04-02
These stories are not only engaging and well-crafted, but highly thought-provoking. The writers, all professional women from working class backgrounds, take us back into their formative years at home, and show us both the obvious and the subtle aspects of growing up in blue collar backgrounds, which in some cases included abject poverty. In particular, the writers let us see the world through the eyes of their blue-collar fathers (and sometimes, mothers).
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From Sun to Sun: Daily Obligations and Community Structure in the Lives of Employed Women and Their Families
William Michelson
Manufacturer: Rowman & Littlefield Pub Inc
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Binding: Hardcover
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ASIN: 0865981493 |
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I WORK TOO: Working Wives Talk About Their Dual-Career Lives (Working Women Ser.)
Manufacturer: Blue Point Books
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Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 1883423058 |
Book Description
I Work Too looks at the realities of trying to cope with dual-career lives in the high-pressure nineties. Packed with humor and insights taken directly from interviews with working wives, practical information, and experts' opinions, I Work Too delivers page after page of reassurance that we can make it work.
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Juggling: The Unexpected Advantages of Balancing Career and Home for Women and Their Families
Faye J. Crosby
Manufacturer: Free Pr
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Binding: Hardcover
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Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer
ASIN: 0029067057 |
Book Description
This edited volume contains the thoughtful and often inspiring papers that were presented at the Fourth Annual Conference of the Women's Freedom Network in 1997. Written by scholars, homemakers, entrepreneurs, professionals, and military personnel, the articles in this collection address the status of women, their careers, and their families--now and in the past. The volume is divided into four sections, each devoted to a particular area where women have played a significant role. The first section focuses on the family with papers describing the difficult choices women must make to meet the demands of home and career, the changing role of fathers, and impact of divorce on children. In section two, several women discuss their successful careers as entrepreneurs and CEOs in a variety of businesses. The papers in section three deal with the topic of women in the military, addressing issues ranging from physical fitness and injury to pregnancy and sexual scandal. The last section offers insiders' views on the history and professional experiences of women involved in medicine, journalism, law, and academia. Heart-felt and informative, the articles in this collection offer insight into the multi-faceted and ever-changing lives of women today.
Book Description
What a difference a husband who encourages and supports your professional ambitions and achievements can make. In reality, though, many women encounter resistance, stress, and even subtle sabotage from their husbands when it comes to career growth. You may wonder, Can I really have it all—a thriving career, a husband who is supportive, and a healthy and terrific marriage and family life? The answer is yes. All you need is permission to prosper.
Permission to prosper? It's simple: Do your husband's words and actions promote, communicate acceptance of, and even celebrate your career successes?
Inside, you'll uncover the secrets to overcoming the difficulties and stresses a dual-career marriage can create between spouses, including the most effective ways to:
·Facilitate your husband's acceptance of your personal and career growth
·Recognize and adjust your behaviors that may trigger negative responses
·Create an environment for mutual development and success, both professional and personal
·Anticipate specific pitfalls in dual-career marriages and avoid their consequences
·Identify spousal sabotage and learn to deal with it effectively
·Thrive in your career and still be committed to your family's needs
·And more
In any marriage that is full of love and respect, permission to prosper granted and received by both husband and wife will lead to a relationship that nurtures deep, spiritual, and stable bonding. By applying the valuable principles in this book, your marriage will be one of support and opportunity, your career will be what you want it to be, and life with your husband will be a source of never-ending encouragement and satisfaction.
"Azriela Jaffe takes a fearless approach to a topic most writers wouldn't dare tackle. Her column at FSB.com is one of our most popular, simply because she is brave enough to discuss what really goes on between married couples." —
Elaine Pofeldt, executive editor, Fortune Small Business Online
Customer Reviews:
A Primer for The Woman Who Strives For Success.......2005-02-22
The author writes for a computer online site called Fortune Small Business, a column "Balancing Act." Mostly, she counsels working wives on being subservient to their husbands. If I didn't know better, I'd say she is a devout Baptist.
Whoever would have even thought she need "permission to prosper," especially from a demanding husband. One good point she made is that single people are independent, as they eat what they want and when they choose, and have an entire bed to themselves. So do many modern families (or couples) as I've observed personally by being dumbfounded at how much the men in their 40s are under the thumb of dominant wives and have to prepare their own meals (sometimes also the children's) whether the mother is working outside the home or otherwise. He must help with the child rearing and cleaning, and give his permission to succeed. Just don't make more than he!
But a woman alone cannot prosper no matter how powerful, as she needs a man who offers emotional support. To my mind, a poor woman can succeed but not prosper. Why? Simply because two incomes make all the difference, not just being submissive to a man you love. If he becomes too demanding, you soon learn 'not to love,' and that's one of the reasons divorce is at an all-time high. The glow of being in love wears off if the woman has to 'ask permission' to do anything. That's like being in school where you have to ask permission from your teachers to do anything. Whatever happened to women's lib?
Craving something and obtaining it are two different things. Sometimes we have to work a little harder to obtain our goals, but letting a house husband make decisions we can prosper or not is absolute nonsense.
This book was written as a rebuttal to this silly idea she blithely set forth in one of her FSB online columns -- which ignited an uproar from other 'successful' working wives who felt the ridiculousness of the Biblical lore that the husband is your 'lord and master.' Ha.
A working woman can walk out of a bad marriage, but so can an independent-thinker who refuses to bow down to a man just because he shares her bed, even if she is poor. Granted, she won't "prosper" all alone but she doesn't have to sacrifice her dignity. No marriage partner should be a 'slave' whatever sex.
I've seen rich people with more money than they know what to do with; they continue to live together in a loveless marriage to keep the high level of living, but are they happy? I doubt it. When you're young like Mrs. Jaffe, love in a marriage means it is a success. In twenty years, I'd like for her to do a follow up to let us know how "seeking permission" worked, or didn't work.
Things change and people change during the diverse phases of life. After the empty-nest syndrom, which she has yet to experience, oft times the couple drift apart. If they are content with the status quo and leading separate personal lives, so be it.
It's more a partnership to share a nice house and "prosperous" environment and go separate ways. Politics make strange bed-fellows. At least, she realizes that stress is present even in good times.
I'm glad her loyal readers rebelled enough for the research she accumulated as listed in the bibliography, but I thought it strange that she listed three of her own books as references. She should have delved deeper for the women writers who disagree with her concept. Love and marriage is not a black & white 'fantasy' but a job in itself, if done right. "She can soar without him -- maybe even in spite of him -- but with him is definitely better." How odd.
Overcomes self-sabotoging ways we undermine ourselves.......2003-03-05
I've been working with a lot of salespeople recently on issues of self-sabotoge. All those little ways we undermine our own prosperity. As a result, I began doing a lot of research into the subject, and in the course of my research I stumbled across a new book that takes on a controversial subject: our deep-seated need to have permission to prosper. I knew, when I read this quote from Azriela Jaffe's new book, Permission to Prosper, that this was a book that was destined for greatness:
"To prosper, a woman needs her own permission more than anyone else's."
This book offers up some breakthrough guidance that's applicable to every prospering woman I know -- and the spouses and family members they turn to for support. You may find that this topic brings up a strong emotional reaction in you. Make a note of what comes up for you and keep moving forward toward creating the business, or the career success you truly desire!
I'm positive that Permission to Prosper is the "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" of the publishing industry. It won't be long before everyone is talking about it. Here's why:
"Permission to prosper is not about the husband's right to control his wife; it is about the expectation of involvement in the life choices of your spouse, male or female.
"A wife can succeed without her husband's active support, but it's like hiking alone up a mountain with a backpack full of rocks. Wouldn't you rather picture yourself running a marathon while your husband cheers you on from the sidelines, handing you water bottles and snacks along the way and greeting you with a warm hug and a smile at the finish line. If a wife believes that her husband can't endorse her career success, she may unconsciously (or deliberately) sabotage her career, because even in this modern feminist age, most married women value marriage and family over all other aspects of their lives."
Read this book. Then give it to your spouse to read, or simply start implementing the strategies Az gives you -- either way,
you'll create a win-win situation.
A huge help for any working wife!.......2003-01-11
I'll admit that I bought this book with some trepidation... Permission? Who says I might need my husband's "permission" for something?! But after reading it, I agree with Azriela and see that there is much here I could use in my own marriage. True, my husband takes pride in my accomplishments and gives me encouragement. He is delighted by the income that I bring in. But he also expects me to work my career in and around my family obligations in a way that he doesn't feel he has to with his career. And he doesn't always seem comfortable with the idea of business travel that leaves him in charge of the household. I can see we have a lot of communicating to do on these points before he truly "buys in" at a deeper level to the idea of me prospering! Thanks for the insight, Azriela Jaffe!
Success Comes To Those Who Ask.......2003-01-09
Azriela goes beyond political correctness and leaves the reader with thoughtful perspectives about the struggle for individuality within a marriage. We all want to realize our potential as individuals, but being part of a couple means that unilateral decisions can be harmful to the marriage. The beauty of this book is not in its warnings that "permission" to prosper is necessary for women who join the work force--but rather in its inspirational message that your relationship with your husband can dramatically improve in the process. She gives step-by-step instructions in attaining this goal. Permission to Prosper is well researched, and told lovingly by an author who guides her reader to a better work life and a better love life. Bonus: Introduction by blockbuster author Michelle Weiner-Davis
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Poor Women and Their Families: Hard Working Charity Cases, 1900-1930 (Suny Series in American Labor History)
Beverly Stadum
Manufacturer: State University of New York Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
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| United States
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Minnesota
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| Poverty
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ASIN: 0791407519 |
Book Description
This book explains why the British Army fought the way it did in the First World War. It integrates social and military history and the impact of ideas to tell the story of how the army, especially the senior officers, adapted to the new technological warfare and asks: was the style of warfare on the Western Front inevitable?
Using an extensive range of unpublished diaries, letters, memoirs and Cabinet and War Office files, Professor Travers explains how and why the ideas, tactics and strategies emerged. He emphasizes the influence of pre-war social and military attitudes, and examines the early life and career of Sir Douglas Haig. The author's analysis of the preparations for the Battles of the Somme and Passchendaele provide new interpretations of the role of Haig and his GHQ, and he explains the reasons for the unexpected British Withdrawal in March 1918. An appendix supplies short biographies of senior British officers. In general, historians of the First World war are in two hostile camps: those who see the futility of lions led by donkeys on the one hand and on the other the apologists for Haig and the conduct of the war. Professor Traver's immensely readable book provides a bridge between the two.
Customer Reviews:
The Killing Ground: WWI as Intellectual History.......2000-05-22
Tim Travers attempts to explain why the British Army in the First World War suffered such horrendous casualties. Travers is unusual in his use of social and intellectual tools to explain a military phenomenon. For anyone who dislikes simple operational military history, this is for you. Travers essentially argues that the intellectual and social environment of the British army before 1914 made the switch from the 19th century model of warfare most of the commanders knew to the 20th century actuality of the western front dificult. Sir Douglas Haig and others simply could not accept that the fighting spirit of their soldiers was no longer the dominant force on the battlefield. The emergence of a technological battlefield, where machine-like weapons made operations difficult, did not fit the paradigm that the Generals learned, and they neither thought out the change, nor had any desire to change. The British Army HQ comes off rather poorly and the Germans come out well, because they adapted sooner to changing conditions. Although his idea is good and his argument solid, at times the book becomes slow and the parade of names confusing. Travers' book is definitely not for the first time student of the Western Front; familarity with the basic narrative is necessary to get the full effect from the book.
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- No More Diapers (Personalized Edition)
- Our Birthing From Within Keepsake Journal
- Parenthood Lost: Healing the Pain after Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death
- Pharmako/Poeia: Plants Powers, Poisons, and Herbcraft
- Prisoners of Childhood: The Drama of the Gifted Child and the Search for the True Self
- Public and Private Families: An Introduction, with PowerWeb
- Reading David: A Mother and Son's Journey Through the Labyrinth of Dyslexia
- Red Hot Root Words: Mastering Vocabulary With Prefixes, Suffixes And Root Words (Book 2)
- Research Methods in Family Therapy, Second Edition
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